What I Remember from School...

I didn't much like school while I was in it. I worked hard, showed up to classes, and got great grades; but I didn't enjoy it. I do, however, think back to my college classes, often (both at Brevard Community College and Florida State University) - especially specific teachers (some who liked me, and a few who seemed to hate me) who had notable impacts on my life. There are two, in particular, who always come to mind.

Mrs. Elko (who, as best I could tell, did not like me at all), taught me the value of the written word. I'd never understood it or appreciated it, until she described it in a way that suddenly made perfect sense to me. I had hated poetry before that day; but, in an instant, poetry was transformed into one of the grandest gifts I'd ever received - all because of one teacher who appreciated poetry and wanted her students to experience the joy it brought her. I had two semesters with Mrs. Elko; and, if it's possible, I think she hated me more the second semester than the first. But by the end of that year, I knew that I wanted to be a writer (in whatever capacity that might be).

The other teacher, Mr. Roberts, saw something in me that I did not even see in myself. At a time when I felt very small and unimportant, he saw someone who was going places. I still remember him telling me, "If you ever need a reference - for anything - look me up. I'll give them all kinds of reasons why they should choose you." He probably doesn't remember me, today; but I remember him.

This is just me reminiscing, if I'm being honest. I don't have an agenda in writing this... but I can make one. So here it is:

You have the power, through your words, to influence the lives of others - whether you know about it or not. So use that power wisely.

"Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose." - Proverbs 18:21 (MSG)

Dear Lonely Heart, Look Upward!

This post is for you - you, with the heart that is yearning to be loved.  To have worth.  To matter. 

Maybe you're still searching; maybe you think you've found what you're looking for; maybe you thought you had found it, only to have to taken away from you, and now - today - you need it more than ever before. 

I looked across the room, this morning, at my sunflowers.  They were a gift - a treasured gift, from my husband.  A sweet surprise, picked out and brought home, especially for me.  A beautiful reminder that I am loved, that I have worth, that I matter to him. 

When he first brought them home, they were fresh.  Though dying, they were still full of life, with strong, sturdy, deep green stems and soft, shapely petals.  They stood tall and proud.

Today, they are dead, with pale stems and crunchy, crinkled petals.  They have been dead for several days, now, but I couldn't bring myself to toss them.

Why?  I sat at my dining room table, across the room from the dead flowers, pondering this absurd reality.  I'm holding on to something that can't last.  Soon, what water is left in the vase will begin to smell, and the petals will fall off, one-by-one, and my flowers will be nothing more than a messy memory.

It's not the flowers that I'm so desperately clinging to.  It's the association they've been given. 

This is what we do, isn't it?  We live our lives with fists grasped tightly around everything and everyone we're blessed to call our own - even if just for a short while; but we forget that nothing is truly ours in this life.  It's all on loan.

I've watched two marriages of close friends fall apart in the span of a year.  So much hurt.  So much devastation.  This thing that was supposed to last forever - that was avowed to endure, until death did the parting - just, over. So many plans ruined, hopes dashed, and memories tarnished. 

This isn't what God intended; it's just another byproduct of a fallen world.  And it's a hard reality to face.  Human relationships - even the best relationships - are still just temporary.  Even in the promise, "until death do us part," there is still a blaring reminder that parting will come.  So, why do we put so much weight and significance in finding that one person who will make us feel like we're loved, or that we matter, or that we have worth?

Friend, who is hurting today, because it is Valentine's Day, and you do not feel loved or valued or important - do not let your heart be troubled!  Do not believe the lie that you are empty or that your life is void of something that was supposed to be there, just because the spaces between your fingers aren't filled. 

I look at those wilting flowers, and they serve as a bittersweet reminder that my husband - my dear, sweet husband - is just on loan to me.  One day, he may be gone.  (And likewise, he will not have me forever.)  But that is okay.  It is okay, because there is one treasure - the sweetest, dearest of all - that cannot be taken away, and that is the love of Christ, and it is given freely to all who will receive it.

Oh, there is only One who will always love us!  Long before that significant other ever came or will come into your life, He always has loved you, and He always will.  He considered you most valuable and important - His treasure - so much so that He prepared a place for you for all of eternity.  There is no "until death do us part" where He is concerned; His love transcends time.

This post is for you - you, with the heart that is yearning to be loved.  To have worth.  To matter.  Look upward!

"Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal.  Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal.  Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be." - Matthew 6:19-21, NLT

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in Me.  There is more than enough room in my Father’s home.  If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?  When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with Me where I am.  And you know the way to where I am going.” - John 14:1-4, NLT